The Famous WNBA spoof

Sideshow's been raving about this little video for a couple of weeks now, so I thought I should post it on the site.

Here it is:

2008 PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS

You heard them today on the air, now see them in cold hard writing here on the website!

Scoff at Sideshow's picks, or ridicule Luke for his absurd upset specials!!

Don't dare cross Matt's picks cause you know you'll be sorry when it's all said and done. (Cause all my picks were conservative (ref: smart))

So without further a due, here are your 2008 Playoff Predictions:

WEST
Series #1 - Detroit vs Nashville
Sideshow - Nashville (with the upset special)
Luke - Detroit
Matt - Detroit
Series #2 - San Jose vs Calgary
Sideshow - San Jose
Luke - San Jose (despite his urges to pick Calgary)
Matt - San Jose
Series #3 - Minnesota vs Colorado
Sideshow - Colorado (since Sideshow is so old, he thought Colorado was more familiar)
Luke - Minnesota
Matt - Minnesota (but I wouldn't be surprised if Colorado pulled it out)
Series #4 - Anaheim vs Dallas
Sideshow - Anaheim
Luke - Anaheim
Matt - Anaheim

EAST
Series #1 - Montreal vs Boston
Sideshow - Montreal
Luke - Montreal
Matt - Montreal
Series #2 - Pittsburgh vs Ottawa
Sideshow - Pittsburgh
Luke - Pittsburgh (6 or 7 games)
Matt - Pittsburgh (5 games)
Series #3 - Washington vs Philadelphia
Sideshow - Philadelphia (Sideshow just liked the movie so much, he had to pick the team)
Luke - Philly, (for another upset special)
Matt - Washington
Series #4 - New York Rangers vs New Jersey
Sideshow - New Jersey
Luke - New Jersey
Matt - New York Rangers


EAST FINAL PREDICTIONS:
Sideshow - Montreal vs Pittsburgh (Montreal winner)
Luke - Montreal vs Pittsburgh (Montreal winner)
Matt - Montreal vs Pittsburgh (Pittsburgh winner)

WEST FINAL PREDICTIONS:
Sideshow - Colorado vs Anaheim (Anaheim winner)
Luke - Anaheim vs San Jose (Anaheim winner)
Matt - San Jose vs Anaheim (San Jose winner)

STANLEY CUP WINNER:
Sideshow - Montreal
Luke - Montreal
Matt - San Jose

2nd Round Pick???

For the record (and I'm sure I hardly need to put this on record), I am an avid Montreal Canadiens fan. I live and breathe Habs. When they win, life seems a little sweeter. When they lose, even McDonald's tastes stale. Recently, I've not had a mind for McDonald's.

The trade deadline came and went this month with a few big moves hitting the headlines. 'Richards dealt to Dallas' or 'Hossa to the Pens' among others. The only deal my Habs were involved in would have had a title similar to this one: 'Montreal Acquires Sack of Hammers in exchange for All-Star Goalie'.

For God's sake. Huet for Washington's 2nd round pick? Don't tell me Gainey is illiterate, too. At least then he would have a passable excuse:

George McPhee - Hello Robert, it's George. How you doing?

Bob Gainey - Uh...not bad, George. And please, call me Bob.

GM - Sure. No prob...Bob...~ahem~, anyways I hear you're looking to get rid of that Huet character.

BG - Actually, no I'm not...

GM - ~interrupts~ Because, you see, I've got some players/draft picks I've been looking to get off my hands. For instance, that Ovechkin character has been getting on my nerves. ENOUGH WITH THE TOOTHLESS GRIN ALREADY! WE GET IT! YOU LIKE SCORING! Not to mention our 1st round picks in '08 and '09. How's that sound

BG - Holy Sh!t!! Are you retarded?...I mean...you sure do drive a hard bargain, George. Tell you what, you send the papers over and I'll have a look at them.

Of course this is the part where Bob Gainey can't read, signs off on the trade and McPhee pulls the wool over his eyes.

I have no idea if this actually happened but I can't think of another reason this transaction was made. Pull your socks up, Gainey. And go back to grade 2.

NFL HEADSCRATCHERS

The end-of-season changes that come in the NFL at the end of each regular season are always interesting to watch. In some cities coaches are fired (see "Baltimore"), in some coaches retire (see "Washington"), and in others there is an entire house cleaning (see "Miami"). Following the firings, it's always interesting to see the rush of NFL management to hire and extend successful coaches.

I find the situation in Cleveland to be one of the most interesting situations. Despite lucrative free agent signings and what seemly were strong draft classes, Cleveland has perennially disgraced the NFL with a team that can barely stay out of the league's cellar. This year, obviously it was a different situation with Cleveland proving to be a legitimate force and nearly making the playoffs. I stress nearly. With this mild success came a rush of NFL management to snatch up the coaches and players involved. Baltimore interviewed Rob Chudzinski (O.C.), and other teams salivated at the opportunity to snatch up surprise quarterback Derek Anderson. Prior to the season, Romeo Crennel was widely speculated to lose his job at year end, but now, with his new found mild success, he has been signed long-term to coach the Browns.

Are memories in the NFL so short? Was it not just months ago that fans of the Browns and NFL prognosticators everywhere were calling for the head of Romeo Crennel? Romeo had two years left on his deal in Cleveland, and instead of letting him play out his contract and finally earn the money he's been being paid, he has received a raise and a contract extension. It makes no sense to me.

Has Rob Chudzinski only been an O.C. for only one year? (yes, he was a tight ends coach a year ago in SD) Is that all it takes? One year of success as an O.C. and you deserve a head coaching job? It's mind boggling to me, and as I peruse the assistant coaches scattered around the league I see several people more qualified and more deserving of a head coaching job. Co-ordinators who have a proven track record of winning, who have played in Championship games, made the playoffs every year and have taken mediocre talent and turned it into contention.

But maybe that's just me. I'm just a country-boy in small town Saskatchewan, who probably doesn't know much. And heck, look at Norv Turner. He sure had a proven track record. Of losing.

The TooToo Turtle

In an otherwise slow week in the NHL, Jordan TooToo somehow managed to get his name into some headlines again this week. "Was it for a dirty hit?" you likely asked, no it was just another event in the chronological diary of why Jordan TooToo should NOT be in the NHL.

I think adding my own dialogue and opinion might only dilute the reality that is Jordan TooToo's patheticness, so instead I will just show you two videos from back to back games this week that displayed Tootoo's "toughness". (And by toughness I mean ability to turtle and/or ability to act as a human punching bag).

Tiger Torching

With Dontrelle Willis now signed to a 3 year deal, the Tigers are undeniably the greatest team in baseball. With a rotation that already boasted the likes of Justin Verlander, Jeremy Bonderman, Kenny Rogers and Nate Robertson, the Tigers instantly made themselves fall classic contenders by bringing in the two biggest names on the block in baseball. (Willis and Cabrera)

The rotation of the Tigers will dominate barring any injuries, and not just because they're young and studly, but because they now have three left handed arms. Verlander and Bonderman proved two years ago to be among the most devastating pitchers in the league, with a solid complement of Rogers and Robertson. Bring Willis into the equation and things will get even rougher for opponents.

The only rotation that will rival (and maybe surpass) the Tigers rotation will be the RedSox, and that is only if they are able to rob the Twins blind and somehow bring in Santana.

Adding Willis to the mix was one thing. Also bringing in Cabrera? That's the dagger in the heart. Not only will the Tigers shut teams out with solid pitching, (not just from the starters but from the pen too), they will be able to put up incredible runs. It will be scary to see a guy like Cabrera at the plate in situations where he actually has some protection; not like the Marlins who tried to protect him with Ramirez and Willingham (seriously??). Put Cabrera between Sheff's and Ordonez, and the guy will light it up.

The Tigers will outscore every opponent, and shut down even the best lineups, and THAT's why the Tigers will be the best team in baseball in 2008.

Please, someone tell me there is a difference.

It seems everyday there is a new "incident" in the NHL to talk about. Instead of a behind the back Sidney Crosby pass, or a Sam Ganger dangling shootout goal, it seems there are new obsceneties to talk about. Instead of players like Sidney Crosby, Alexander Ovechkin or Vincent Lecavalier making headlines for great goals or assists, players like Steve Downie, Mattias Ohlund and Chris Simon litter the headlines.
The most recent incident is Chris Simon's "stomp" on Jarko Ruutu. Without a doubt this is one of the worst things I've ever seen happen on a sheet of hockey ice. Chris Simon's intent was obviously to hurt Ruutu, and to hurt him badly. Simon should be removed from the game of hockey and be given a lifetime ban from any connection to hockey and the NHL. He should be not only permanently suspended as a player, but he should also be banned from working as a figure in the media, or any position with the NHL in a management role. This may sound harsh, and maybe even frivelous, but what Chris Simon has done, (and done in previous years) has tainted the image of the NHL so severely that every action should be taken to keep him away from the game.
That said, I'd like to revisit another incident that occured this year in the NHL and ask why it is any different. When Mattias Ohlund "slashed" Mikko Koivu this year, (I put "slash" in parenthesis because that is a very modest way of saying "tried to break his leg") there was obvious intent to hurt. I would even go as far to say that his intent was of equal obviousness to the Chris Simon stomp. Why Ohlund received only a 4 game suspension is completely beyond my comprehension and a huge blunder of the NHL (Colin Campbell).
Burnsy, why are you so intent on coming down hard on NHL players?
Because NHL players are the role models and leaders of Canadian culture. They shape and influence the future of Canadian hockey and society in general. Every little boy in Canada who watches hockey worships the NHL's best and brightest, and unfortunately will see the actions of Simon, Downie and Ohlund far more than he'll see the actions of Crosby, Lecavalier and Ovechkin. This shapes the way they will play and what they will feel is acceptable to do on a sheet of ice.
It's for this reason ever player like Simon and Ohlund should never play in the NHL.
Now, watch these videos, and try and tell me there's any difference in intent.